Carrie

Carrie

I was abused by my father and two older brothers, emotionally, physically, and sexually. We were raised in a strict Roman Catholic household and the mottos were 'children are to be seen and not heard from' and 'do as I say not as I do'.


The biggest problem I have with all this, is their denial that they did anything wrong and their dumping the guilt on me 'as being the problem'.


My oldest brother was killed in an accident two years ago and I was glad because he abused me the worst, using a BB gun in a small room, to scare me into not telling my parents.

Of course that wasn't necessary as the 'boys' could do no wrong in our family. I know I tried to tell my parents but they would not listen. After my brother’s death, I had told my mother that I wanted to talk about what had happened.


She said it wasn't time. I would say a year went by and I mentioned it again and she said it didn't need to be talked about. It is so offensive to 'not be of any importance' to your own flesh and blood parents.

Now my sister is dying of Cancer and there is this pain coming back all over again. She lived with a guy (still is) that sexually abused her oldest daughter. To me, I feel the cancer has a lot to do with her denial.


It seems that all the family is coming to her rescue with this cancer but no one says anything about the daughter's feelings and the fact that she will not be able to get to the funeral (even if she wanted to).


The boyfriend seems like he should not be held accountable either. Actually he thought he could help me with what I had gone through with my brother, because "he knew what happened, changed me".


Yet he will not acknowledge that what he did, changed my sister's daughter. All of this just makes me more angry at everything!!!